Animals should be rewarded for not being people. I hate people.

I'm tired and stressed. I'm sick of studying, but my study sessions dont seem to be that productive, and so i dont go to the gym in an attempt to study more, but then i feel like gloop cos i havent worked out in ages. (my foot being retarded doesnt help much either. i actually miss running.)

so i dont study, but im sick of studying, i dont go to the gym cos i cant, but i want to, and i made a huge mistake on my exam today that could cost me my average.

and i miss my dog. ridiculously so. he was pretty much my exam study buddy, and it feels weird not having his head resting on my lap while i stroke his fuzzy muzzle. ha, who am i kidding, my dog would never sit still for that long. he'd come up and push his wet nose under your arm, longing for affection...you just cant do that with a budgie. and my budgie squawks like no tomorrow. dont get me wrong, i love little peevesy. it just doesnt come close to having a dog.

they're like super stress relievers.

sometime i wish i was a dog.

im over pretending having to be nice to everyone. i shouldnt have to pretend, but in all honesty, i hate people in general.

i dont hate people personally, i love hearing other people's stories and their opinions. i just hate the plastickyness of being a human being. too much omg-totes-awesome superficiallity and not enough actual thought. and i hate having to be on par with the type of 'friendliness' everyone else is accustomed to. i make comments that are merely comments or observations, but they can come off as insults or subjective opinions because of how everyone else interprets it. there is no inflection in my voice that suggests disdain, yet people will assume the worst.

im tired of being human. if that makes sense. the following video pretty much sums up my relationship with almost everyone i know.

Grocery Shopping

I buy things when they're on sale. So if you see me buying tomato juice, celery, pepper, lemon juice and worcester sauce, please dont judge me as an alcoholic, strange lady on the bus.

I am cooking steaks, hence the sauce and pepper, i am a partial health freak and mix smoothies all the time, hence the tomato juice, i love celery and peanut butter, hence the veg, and i have a sore throat, hence the lemon.

Thanks for asking me in a snide voice if id like a large bottle of vodka to go with it. How about a large dollop of self-hatred and a pinch of depression too?

Voting

I hate voting.

I never know who to vote for, because I dont know what they stand for. I never check to see who won, and I usually dont know which party the candidates stand for. This isnt from ignorance, mind you, this is purely because I disregard the flyers that carry the general statements of 'vote **** because we're not *****' and 'vote **** because everyone else is stupid'.

I dont care what sort of apocalyse will happen if I vote the other party, I want to know why I should vote for YOU. Too many parties are slap talking other parties and not explaining why they are a good choice. It's like saying 'I'm a better person than this blade of grass.' Of course you are, but that doesnt make you a good person in general. It's just relative.

Even in high school, during debates and student council elections, 15 year olds had the sense to explain why they would be a good choice, not why the opposition would be a bad choice. If high school kids can get it right, why cant 40/50 something year olds get it?

So until it happens that parties get their campaign act together, Im voting for the party that sends me the least junk mail and saves the nost trees.

/rant.

Change, Yet Again

So i have yet again changed the purpose of this blog. It now os the excess of my twitter accounts, ie my thoughts require more that 140 characters to express. So think of this as behind the scenes and the extended deleted scenes version.

Congratulations, you have the dvd version of my life. Unfortubately though, it isnt the blu ray version, as the majority of these posts will be from my mobile. Formatting? Aint nobody got time for that.

For shorter versions, follow me on twitter, @hannahbm. For my fitness related activties, @hashtagrun.

Cheers big ears!
Xoxo

Drum Roll Please

Epic Sandwich, and what/who is my pet, Peeve?

all will be answered soon. patience, young padawan.

Excellent Typical Weekend

Age of Empires, Battlefield 3, having tactical chicken strips before vego food, kebabs, chips, souvlakis, murder docos, Parks & Recreation with Rashida Jones and Adam Scott. 

3 days, 2 nights. 

Not going to work because the timing is horrible and we're busy anyway.

"He's in the shower." Ha, not really, I just blew your cover. 

Sorry.

Facebooking M & S because I'm stuck in an awkward situation.

Sneaky jeans and braided hair and mad jumpers and tiny shoes.

Chaddy and almost expired expiry dates.

Bottle cap necklaces.

I think we're changing from one-sided to no-sided. Does that make sense?

 I think you need a haircut. Can I touch your eyes?

Lulz

Apparently this is now my diary, since 140 characters on Twitter isnt enough. And now my number of readers have decreased such that I only an typing to myself and the odd passer-by, no doubt looking for some obtuse subject that some SEO has messed up and linked them here. But I'm getting off topic.

Wait..which one was spiderman?

cue teenage girls screaming and drooling. chris hemsworth's biceps are the size of an asian baby.

also, Ls. those of you who know what i'm talking about, you know what i'm talking about. ;)

NEWS FLASH.
there's a chat box to the right ->

...unless you're looking at your screen upside down, or your screen is upside down.

..then it's on your left.

let me know if it works ey? i tried posting, but it hasn't loaded my stuff. so maybe its biased, or it doesn't work, or it works and i just have no friends.

i need to stop talking to inanimate objects. this time it was my sleeve on my hoodie and i told it to stop getting caught in my jacket when i pulled my jacket on. turned around and there was my cousin watching me. obviously not judging me in the slightest. he even told me so. #greatfamily #hashtag #lolthisisnteventwitter #seewhatididthere #okaystop #thisisgettingannoying

TIP OF THE DAY: i can't be bothered to explain it, so i'll embed it.

bonus section: see a photo of shakira, or a photo of a horse.

Christian Porter...bam. pregnant.

he's pretty much awesome. i'm not going to embed it, but he can be found here.

the weather here's been pretty miserable lately, so i've decided to further procrastinate my assignments and make a list of top 10 things about shitty Melbourne weather (and other random things) I love.
(in no particular order):

1. beanies with ear flaps.

the multi-coloured ones are better though

2. boots.

i actually own these. :D

3. belgian hot chocolate.

$3. If you're ever in Melb during the winter, my treat. Better than Brunetti's, hands down.

4. large fleece hoodies.

5. forgetting im in a public place and feeding the postbox my mail while saying 'om nom nom', then turning around to find a 20-something year old guy behind me laughing his butt off.

true story

6. secret mail to people. (happy birthday 4 months in advance, love pepa)

i guess it isn't so secret now.

7. discovering your best friend's uni is a sister uni to yours, and hence exchange is a very possible option. :)

UoA. Shanianianianiani <3

8. free barbecues.

mm, snags

9. procrastination of all things academic and exercise related.

(photo pending)

10. oranges. and i like the smell of oranges. *boston accent*

- moose

TIP OF THE DAY: drinking lots of water is healthy for you and all, but not fun when you're comfy under a doona and you have a full bladder and the dunny's out the back in the cold.

HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

Today

i cooked dinner and didnt die. (my response)

i've probably showed this video to everyone i know, and i've gotten mixed responses. but yeah, pretty much the best 3 seconds of my internet life.

the title gives it away, but there isn't much suspense anyway.

enjoy.

TIP OF THE DAY: minecraft on the phone is a terrible distractor in a microeconomics lecture.

Still Renovating

i wont be reposting 9gag stuff. i just couldnt find the original.

you'll probably have noticed that there's a penguin game above this post. play it, and the highest score will win a prize. not a joke. you actually will win a prize. you'll have to print screen your score though, and email it (or fb/twitter it, im not fussed). pics or it didnt happen. tits or gtfo. jokes. please dont send me photos of boobs. its a quote. you'll notice a lot of my posts are references to other tv shows or movies.

anyways, im still adding widgets and such, so even if you dont see a new post here every day, there's a high probability (i would know, im studying to be an actuary, LOLWUT) that there's something new on the page. just all for your reading leisure.

TIP OF THE DAY: pencil.